I have been away. Not writing as consistently as I should be, not practicing my creativity. With the draft of every new post, staring at the blank Notes of my iPhone and the ineligible markings in my notebook – I found myself muttering.
“Who cares about this? This is not important. It does not matter”
In the dark corners of my mind, I was convinced that my words were insignificant. That my voice was unnecessary. There in the floor, shattered into hundreds of jagged little pieces. My voice – broken and silenced. There were many things that I allowed to silence my voice.
At moments, there was noise. I was lip synching to the words of others. Imitating sounds in voice that was not my own. I sacrificed myself in my reticence. Not realizing how connected my voice was to my desires, my destiny, my power. I had become a threat to my complete self with the muzzle I had tied so tightly around my own mouth.
I recalled small pieces of my life through story. My writing, unbeknownst to me, was fragmented and a reflection of my voice. A scary exercise in exploration. It was small, whispering. I desired a roar, a full throat. Words attempted to leap from my lips, they escaped in the form of a stutter inaudible and almost soundless. What was guiding my voice? What prevented my full voice?
I decided that woman who finds her voice, finds her power – and through that discovery she is on a path to defining and creating exactly who it is she wants to be. Everyday the voice became clearer, louder, more convicted. It trembled and cracked. I felt it shake, but each breath became deeper. The layers of my tongue began to unfold and the soft, safe words became biting and heavy. There I was, similar to a new born who had just discovered their tongue, poking it around in the remote crevices of my mouth. Even in the beginnings of finding our voice – we are was discouraged to use it. As women, who are we to take up space, speak loudly, talk forcefully, demand our words be heard?
And that was it. It was not just about words and sounds. It was about validating my experience. It was about amplifying my desires. It was about birthing a destiny, deepening a purpose and expanding a vision. This was about the creation of personal power.
My voice was my vehicle to survival. Do you believe in the power of your voice? I was a woman who had found her voice, and in turn discovered her power. Your voice matters. It could change a life, touch a heart, revolutionize a nation. Most importantly, you get free.