“She craves men but women are her most abiding lovers. Her friends are her soul mates, all the love without the consumption of sex and romance, a different kind of intimacy. Women make love by admiring each other, studying and envying each other and mixing it all up in a pot of devotion.”
It was the Spring of 2011. I sat and realized I was the woman who I vowed never to become. The woman who held on to a love that hurt. The woman who stayed for the sake of staying. The one who only knew how to love in dysfunction. Intuitively, I knew I deserved better but was hesitant in choosing so. In a desperate Google search for some clarity and affirmation, I stumbled upon Happy Black Woman, followed by a list of Rosetta’s favorite bloggers. I clicked on a few that I thought were appealing, but none that spoke to me. Not one that I felt. I decided to hover over a few more hyperlinks and was directed to The Write Curl Diary (currently All The Many Layers).
“The Alienation of Affection” by GG Renee was the first blog post I had ever read. This woman, had found the words that translated my experience. I read on and on and on until I was overwhelmed at the emotional algebraic equations embedded in every sentence of every post – afraid to read on because the woman inside of me was face to face, confronting the girl who hid from her worthiness. Those words brought me life and gave permission to access the bigger, brand new version of Shefon. I was then inspired and encouraged to share my own thoughts through the newly published themoxiemodus.com. It was that one woman who shared her story, that affirmed the need to share my own. The woman who did not hesitate to say that not only my, but our voices, experiences and stories must be told.
Four years later, I found myself sitting next to the woman who invoked fearlessness in my heart and planted seeds of thoughts of worthiness in my head. She saw, understood and was reflective of who I was at the core.
‘What would happen if one woman told the truth about her life?
The world would split open”
- Muriel Rukeyser
There is sometimes this lingering myth that Black women do not know how to co-exist. We are incapable of loving each other, supporting each other and caring for one another.
I love being around women. In particularly, Black women. I have been fortunate enough to be surrounded by a number of women who are excellence, strength and love personified.
My grandmother, my aunts, cousins and friends act as a light in the dark and a safe place to land. I am grateful for their presence which keeps my heart and mind light. I am appreciative of the beautiful souls that find their way into my life. I am moved by those who speak their truth to me in love. They are constant teachers and unafraid to correct or challenge me in what become moments of growth and personal development. They see me beyond my current circumstances. They are invested in my greatness. They are my reflection. They are the reason my soul grows. These women offer a constant reminder of: Yes, Brown girl. Go get it.
I live for those moments of embrace, encouragement and edification from other women. Simply put, women fucking rock. Unintentional or intentional, digital space or physical space, those are always times of sustainment, healing and renewal. Always.
My friends dispel the myth that women do not encourage, support and inspire other women in their visions, dreams and endeavors. I truly appreciate and am sustained in your energizing and creative spirits.
To any woman who has changed my life through your warm words, hugs or smiles – thank you.